pen and paper met a cup of coffee

..i make a cup of coffee at the kitchen. i decided to sleep at the late night today, play the mp3 and i've tried to start drawing back. this is one of my way to kill the stress away. haha! but i hold a pen and let the paper blank almost half an hour. i tried to draw something but i didn't have an idea at this moment. took some magazine to find any influence and an idea. still blur. i throw away the magazine, now i got it yaw! yeah yeah. then start drawing some monster flying at the sky. tiny little monster! wah so cute. i like this one. i hope that i can give to someone as a present. i can't make this just in black and white. i want to put some color on it, but i forgot where did i put my color pen. suppose inside my pencil box. dammit! i can't find it here. gedebaaaaaaaak! omg omg. i think i hit some thing. i turn back my head slowly.. shit yaw! it was my coffee! that coffee already ruin my artwork. huuuu.. i was so sad. i like dat art.it takes 4 hour for me to finish it! huuu. bye monster. i must throw you away. damaged.. ;'(

confused

stay with me

you've got a lot to say
for the one that walked away
i give, you take that's the way its always been...

ohh how do i know
if i should stay or just go?
the bottom line is this way
...that i'll never know

you've got a lot to say
for the one that pushed me away
i give, you take something that they never change
just change...

this thing take times to grow
its been said that times heals wounds
but no, i won't be controlled
...and so the story goes

and i know i can't be this way
and i know that i can't walk away

i never know that i could be this way
i never know that i could walk away
stay with me...

the rumour

Well I am the cancer running through your veins
I am the sweat dripping down the side of your face
I am the pain in the back of your legs,
it makes you fall to you knees it makes you believe
And I am the headline, that’s going to make front page news
I am that fashion you’re all into.
We had to try something different
We had to do something new
We had to make some heads turn
We had to put this to you
I am the rumour on everyones lips
I am the curse on your girlfriends hips.
We are the different so we’ll make a start
Tell all your friends, oh sound the alarm.
I am that feeling, that you’ve done something wrong.
I am that friend, who knew all along.
We say we have our best friends yet we stab them in the back.
We try to show some love and, it’s a skill that we lack.
Ive had it with this crowd and I am done with this town.
Ive had enough of these shows, its over with you now.

Hold your hands in, into the air
Hold your hands up as if you care

on the ground

it was never enough. i can't paint your day. i can't give you strength when you not strong. i can't put the rainbow upon you when you are in sadness. i can't add on the star in your night. i'm not your light, everything that i do is like a mistake. am i must go? but who gonna watch over you when i'm gone? who gonna break your falls? ho gonna kill your pain? i don't know. yes i do care but its ok. just look for someone else but not myself. i'm nothing to you. i'm a poison, not the potion for you. blue skies turning grey. you long to hear my voice.. because i'm long gone.

where is the channel in my life?

the potion

take a breath, take it deep
close your eyes, sometimes it helps

ilusi

i putting myself in the art of nature. how wonderful this world made by Allah. this green earth was so wonderful. i feel so calm when i see this lake. sat down and lay on by the tree. thinking how my life and my next day gonna be. i just dunno what is the next test that i will be facing after this. i already weak again. i want to stand back anymore. aku dah tak sanggup lagi. asyik jatuh tapi bangun hanya seketika.

ranjau apakah ini? apa yang cuba di sampaikan-Nya. tak mengapalah.. aku akan cuba hadapi juga. otak dah sakit dengan masalah yang sedia ada. janganlah ditambahkan lagi. hidup aku tak selengkap kalian wahai sahabat. masih jauh aku ketinggalan. mama dah runsing dengan gelagat aku. serba tak tentu arah.

semalam.. "jangan sedih ya mama. hidup yuri memang sebegini. yuri okay mama.." kata2 aku masih tak dapat nak melegakan hati nurani mama. dah nak buat macam mana, memang hidup aku selalu yang datang, akan pergi tinggalkan aku, namun aku tak salahkan sesiapa pun. dah ini mingkin yang termaktub. yang sekarang? aku tak tahu. kerna aku juga masih tiada jawapan. aku tak mahu fikir lagi buat masa ini, kalau ada, ada lah. kalau tak ada aku biarkan saja.. aku mahu jawapan.. bukan harapan.. its already late now. dah nak masuk senja. i gotta go home right now, tak nak mama runsing lagik. byebye tasik,nanti aku datang jenguk kau lagi yaa.aku janji.

maaf ya mama, yuri memang lemah sekarang ni. harap mama faham. i love you mama.. yuri sayang mama sangat2. i'm so sorry ;(

wutha hell yaw! this is what i called owesome kicks. the combination color, the design ( i love snake! ) its make me jumping around. dulu aku usha kasut ni harga sikit punya tak agak. tadi masuk butik nike, skali harga dah markdown la bro! kena sambar satu ni, tu pun kalo gaji masyuk skit bulan ni. hahaha. hope gaji bulan depan ok and size mengizinkan aku. hahahaaha! mesti mama bising lagik ;p

selaras kata

adakah kata2 yg keluar dari mulut aku ni cuma omong kosong belaka? mungkinkah aku pernah mungkir janji aku selama ini? setahu aku aku tak pernah laku begitu. mungkin aku yang memilukan sampai terjadinya hal yang sebegini. tajam sungguhkah lidah aku ini bila nasihat yang diberi? apa kata mukadimah ini racun dari aku sampai susah hendak ditelan pihak itu? kadang2 hal ini buat aku ketawa sendirian. aku tak pernah lakukan perkara sedemikian tapi menagapa ini yang perlu aku terima. adakah ini adil bagi aku? pernah terlintas difikiran kamu apa yang aku rasa terhadap diri aku ini sendiri? kau buat boleh, tapi mengapa ini larangan bagi aku? adilkah? haha. dunia ini memang tak pernah adil untuk aku. maaf. kau yang tak pernah adil dengan aku. usah khuatir. aku tak berdendam untuk membalas apa yang aku terima kerna aku adalah aku dan kau bukanlah aku. remember that and make a note about this shit ok. haha

don't take my sunshine away

i'm trying hard to find my own happiness but my life kept in the same way, why should it be like that? memang lumrah hidup aku macam ni? sumpah aku tak tahu.biarlah. aku tetap bersyukur dengan apa yang aku ada skg ni walaupun tak lah sesempurna mana. cukup pakai makan dah mencukupi pada aku. aku gembira dengan hidup aku sekarang walaupun diri aku ni masih sendiri. biarlah ia datang sendiri, aku dah taknak cari. bukan malas tapi biarlah hati aku ni berehat dulu. aku lebih rela kejarkan sesuatu yang lain kerna hal ini tak menguntungkan diri aku langsung setakat ni. aku dah serik jatuh pasal perkara hati ni. buat hidup aku jadi makin kosong dan gelap. kawan2 juga yang tak pernah hilang dan pergi.alhamdulillah. aku bersyukur kerna kamu semua masih setia bersama aku sampai ke saat ini, walau di kala senang dan susah aku. where ever i go, you all still stay behind me, as the shadow stick to the body. aku akui aku dah bosan dengan cara life aku. perkara yang sama aku lalui setiap hari. nak enjoy sakan aku tak pandai la pulak. paling kuat pun pergi memekak sampai suara serak tapi bukan selalu pun pergi melalak ni. asal ader jer aku ikut la, kalau takde and tak di jemput aku senyap je. duduk diam jer dalam bilik. main PSP sampai aku terlena. mungkin aku berhibur dalam mimpi aku sendiri? itu juga aku tak tahu, biarlah.. moga nanti aku pasti dengan hidup aku sendiri nanti. amin..